Totally Sweet Advice. PART FIVE

1. Learn to clean and learn it now. If you're living with your parents, help out and learn how to clean an entire house. Seriously, you may THINK you know how to do it, but you probably don't. When you move out, if you haven't learnt every single little house-cleaning detail, you're screwed. Seriously, you want people to come over when you believe your house is clean, only to realise it's really not? What if you find a super hot person to take home and they need to use your bathroom and it's DIRTY?! Major no-no. Plus, a clean house is beneficial for your health and it makes you feel good and at home!

2. It's "anything" and "nothing". Not "anythink" or "nothink". Just thought you should all know...

3. If you're fighting/arguing/disagreeing with somebody, and you're going for the, "I'm more mature and wise than you" approach... don't say 'sweety'. It's not as demeaning as you think and it's just a cop-out and totalllllly annoying. Honestly, it's super lame and your 'mature' approach has failed.

4. Do not play music outloud on your phone/ipod/whatever. You're ONLY allowed to do it when ABSOLUTELY nobody else is around. And you must check constantly, because you look like a douche bag otherwise. I don't even care if you're going for a long walk and have lost your headphones or whatever, it's not worth it!

5. If you have a problem with someone/something, address it in person before you post it on Facebook, you piece of shit!

6. Don't kid yourself, you cannot start eating chips without eating the entire contents.

7. Just because a movie has your favourite actor/actress doesn't mean it's guaranteed to be great. I mean, it's fine to go and see a movie purely because your favourite actor/actress is appearing, but be man enough to admit when they've done a crappy job.

8. If you're going out to eat and you're tossing up between getting your favourite (which is what you always get) or something you've been craving, go for the latter option. If you choose what you always choose and don't go with your cravings, you'll be unsatisfied!

9. Do yourself a favour! Don't see that movie 'Rango'.

10. Hey everyone! Make sure you perfect your fake laugh so you don't come across looking like a sarcastic-fake-laughing-bitch. I know you're only trying to be nice to the unfunny guy making bad jokes, but if you don't have your fake laughing down pat, it may be best not to laugh at all.

11. It's amazing how one arsehole and his 'look-at-me' girlfriend can ruin your cinema experience. Don't be those people.

12. Bake your friend(s) something with someone you love. Or, bake yourselves something because you are in love. It's fun and rewarding for everyone involved.

P.S. I misplaced my USB, hence the lack of posting lately. But, I'm back!

You're the sweet to my mean

Last weekend my boyfriend and I ventured to Sydney to his grandparent's home.
The 3 day long adventure was full of many things; surprises, mishaps, experiences and new found knowledge. It was definitely made more pleasant bunking out in the most beautiful house I've ever had the pleasure to enter. Thomas' grandparents definitely have superb taste and are truly beautiful human beings!

Admittedly, our trip started out rocky and I wondered if I'd made a mistake, but by the end of the trip I was genuinely - and still am - a different person.
I've always gotten along well with older people as I generally enjoy hearing what they have to say. Afterall, they've experienced life and everyone's life is unique, and I find elderly individuals love to put their knowledge to good use by speaking to anyone who will listen about life lessons. And I love to listen!
Tom's grandparents were beautiful, just like their home. I actually find I miss them and look forward to our next trip to their abode.

Anyway, Tom's grandparents - especially his grandfather - and I indulged in very indepth conversations and from their stories and their wisdom, I listened and I listened closely, and realised so many things. Like, I'm a total douche bag. Life's tough, so tough, and unfortunately for some it's a lot tougher than others. I fall into that category; the unfortunate 'some'. But, I've been given these wonderful people who I've been pushing away and taking for granted. I really do need those people and if I keep doing what I'm doing as a form of coping/trying to be tough/trying to prove I can do things on my own/being scared of rejection/feeling like a burden/etc, then I will lose them and it'll be then, when it's too late, that I realise I was wrong.
I need my boyfriend, my lovely little sister friends who have always been there, my new friends who have come into my life and I feel I know more than people I have known forever.... I need them and right now, and possibly for a lifetime, they're wanting to be there. So, I should let them!
Anyway, off track....

In summary: I met Thomas' grandparents and they are so, so lovely, Thomas and I had so much fun, I fell more in love, I realised we are really something together, I listened, I learnt and I came back someone different, someone better. I can't wait to return.

Also;

Realised Nirvana up-loud during the night brings on a sense of being murdered. Making out at truck stops. Changed song lyrics to cure boredom. Takeaway coffees with complementary chocolates. Unintended scenic routes. Kombi van central. Watched rain fall over lakes until you could no longer see to the other side and until it cleared and you could once again. Introductions to old men. Was told about my own apparent future wedding. Discovered we had an extra green-jumping passenger who didn't chip in for petrol. Spoke of happiness. Fruit platters. Rain. Sunshine. Car fixing. Tongue measuring. Nazi watching. Justing Timberlake overload. Beer with old men conversing deeply. Passed cemeteries pretty enough to eat your lunch in. Discussion involving the difference between saltwater and freshwater mermaids. Waterfalls. Fairy bread. Crosswords. Singing like Aretha Franklin. Agreement to no talk of calories. Guilt free food consumption. Submarines. Debates. Movies. Visitors. Ointment. Hazelnuts. Breakfast. Love.



Don't Believe Everything You Think.

I'm pretty pathetic. About time I had admitted to it.

It's strange though. I know deep down that I am infact, a good and worthy person (well, sometimes I believe I am...), but I know that this is mostly a burden - especially around here and these days.
The majority of people are unlike me, therefore always causing conflict and misunderstanding. And, just to get the record straight. I mean different, as in, genuinely not the same. Not, 'Oh, I'm so much better than everyone, no one understands me because I'm just oozing with originality'. No. You cannot argue with the fact that I am quite unusual; for good or for bad. I don't know.
Anyway, me being so warped,  I tend retaliate in ways which I know are unacceptable and make me look like the monster. It's the only way I know how to defend myself.
It makes me feel guilty and taking all blame and feeling like more of a waste of space and people's time...

I don't want to say too much, I don't want to cause trouble... I don't have any more room for trouble right now.
But, what I'm saying is, I feel like such a loser and I feel like a piece of shit because I'm not accepted by as many people as I'd like to be. And, because I'm always being told I'm wrong and this and that, I've began to believe it. On the other hand though, I know deep down that not everything I've been told is wrong about me, or not right about me, is incorrect. I know that sometimes, just because a whole heap of people THINK you're this thing or that thing, that you're not. You're truly not. That you're just misunderstood... I mean, everyone's misunderstood to some degree, but in my case, it happens more than the average persons'. And you can't fight it, because you won't win.

The majority can be wrong, but the majority always win.

I suppose the only thing you can do is stay true to yourself, and know who you are. Don't believe everything you hear, or even everything you think, because you are what you think you are.
I guess, the only thing that makes me believe deep down that I'm not as terrible as people tell me, or as I often believe I am, is that all the people I look up to and respect so much, return those feelings to me. The people I have in my life, or the people who don't have anything bad to say about me, are the ones I would choose, if I had to, to feel that way. They're amazing. And, how can people so amazing and so extraordinary love and respect me if I'm so bad?
The people who don't are usually people who I really don't respect or love in return... but hell, it'd make things a WHOLE lot easier if they did like me and respect me.
I guess I've just got to start backing myself up more, because those people are often wrong.

The majority is often wrong.

I'm leaving soon, my head's a mess.

I hope it comes back clearer.

My boyfriend - man, I wish so much I didn't have to call him my 'boyfriend'. I wish so much that 'manfriend' was more socially accepted. Or, maybe I don't because I'd feel weird saying that too. 'Partner' is too marital, 'lover' is too distant. My problem with the word 'boyfriend' is that I've had them before and my boyfriends have always become ex-boyfriends and I was so young. I'm much older now... sort of - and I are off to his grandparent's in Sydney tonight. We're going for the weekend and I'm feeling a mixture of emotions all at once (which is anything new, so I don't exactly know why I had to tell you that). It's our first trip away with one another and I feel like it's going to be a big step forward (or even backwards if all goes downhill) in our relationship.
I mean, we're a serious couple anyway (much more serious than I tend to give us credit for) and this will just confirm the seriousness of where we could be headed. Like, we're sharing a suitcase for goodness sake! That is one serious committment. My whole trip will be bagged up with his whole trip and will return the same.
I just hope I don't drive him mad.

I just want,

To sleep for a few hours, until it's time to leave and wake up and everything to have been completed.

For it to be raining until the outskirts of our destination tonight. Road trip in the rain with my lover and our mutual lovely music, would be bliss.

The amount of roadkill seen on the way to be minimal.

To eat and not consume any of the calories. Chocolate, coffee, lollies, muffins, chips, bread... oh, so much chocolate. Please.

For this weekend to go well and for my boyfriend's grandparents to like me. No, no. For my boyfriend's grandparents to adore me.

To turn eighteen.

My outfits to not make my body temperature too hot or too cold, but just right. Like Little Bear's porridge.

Magically be fit enough to work and be magically given a full time job.

Control and become the person I am trying so hard to be. (I shouldn't say that, sometimes I swear I could try harder but I'm just a little scared. To death, scared)

To not have to say I want happiness and to just be happy already.

For people who don't appreciate me or who aren't willing to cut me some slack or be completely honest with me, to buzz off. I don't have time right now (or ever!) for you people.

To wish you all a safe and happy weekend. Hell, a safe and happy fucking life. But not too much of the two, because without misery you would know no happiness. And, without danger you'd know no fun, you boring fucks.

One last thing; I wish to know when my thoughts, my words and my life will start making sense.

Does any of this make sense to you?

I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you.

I came across these polaroids a few years back and silly me didn't think to label the artist or anything, but they've really spoke to me since I found them and I had to share them with my readers.
If you know the artist, please share!