Thursday, Jan 20th
I'm sitting at my boyfriend's house too scared to be at my own. Two days ago my housemate and I had a meeting regarding housework. The fact that I was doing absolutely everything while she (bitchy, well and truly overweight, and one of those mean fat girls who makes you fear them to gain some kind of closure), sat on our couch with the blinds shut, using too much toilet paper, eating all her food and being disgusting... doing nothing. Not once.
The meeting ended badly, both physical and verbal attacks occurred... twice.
I found it bizarre that someone could find it unusual that one vaccuumed and mopped and cleaned weekly.
Lucky for me, that night I was planning on staying with my friend, Steph, anyway. It wasn't safe for me there that night and an alternative was needed to be made for the meantime, until things were sorted out.
Basically, Steph and I were surfing blogs and saw what disgusting, personal, and just plain horrid things that were posted about me. I was, and still am, furious/disappointed/depressed/and anxious about it all.
Thankfully, I had a marvellous time with Steph and her lovely family (minus Emily, her sister who was elsewhere), eating chocolate and yummy food, and literally just sitting in her room all night talking. Just talking.
They are some of the greatest people I know, truly.
I'm sitting at my boyfriend's house too scared to be at my own. Two days ago my housemate and I had a meeting regarding housework. The fact that I was doing absolutely everything while she (bitchy, well and truly overweight, and one of those mean fat girls who makes you fear them to gain some kind of closure), sat on our couch with the blinds shut, using too much toilet paper, eating all her food and being disgusting... doing nothing. Not once.
The meeting ended badly, both physical and verbal attacks occurred... twice.
I found it bizarre that someone could find it unusual that one vaccuumed and mopped and cleaned weekly.
Lucky for me, that night I was planning on staying with my friend, Steph, anyway. It wasn't safe for me there that night and an alternative was needed to be made for the meantime, until things were sorted out.
Basically, Steph and I were surfing blogs and saw what disgusting, personal, and just plain horrid things that were posted about me. I was, and still am, furious/disappointed/depressed/and anxious about it all.
Thankfully, I had a marvellous time with Steph and her lovely family (minus Emily, her sister who was elsewhere), eating chocolate and yummy food, and literally just sitting in her room all night talking. Just talking.
They are some of the greatest people I know, truly.
Friday, Jan 21st
Tom and I decided we're going to see a movie tonight. He has the flu and took his second day off.
Today, everything was moved into my new room. I told the staff that I was no way never, going to keep living under the same roof as my ex-housemate. I'm glad they took it seriously and the move was granted ASAP.
Saturday, Jan 22nd
I'm in my new room, about to go to sleep here for the first time. I'm more content already being here.
I'm no longer phased by what happened with my old housemate and I. I believe I am a better and stronger person than she is, and I find comfort in this.
The new unit has a lot of cleaning and organising involved, but once that's done I can see the potential in this becoming my home.
Sunday, Jan 23rdI'm no longer phased by what happened with my old housemate and I. I believe I am a better and stronger person than she is, and I find comfort in this.
The new unit has a lot of cleaning and organising involved, but once that's done I can see the potential in this becoming my home.
Night 2 in my new bed. Tonight Thomas and I went for a drive. I didn't expect I'd be seeing him today which was a nice surprise. He dropped me back home afterwards. I believe this will be the first time we haven't slept beside one another for two consecutive nights.
On our car trip we spoke of Happiness. It was us.
I cleaned the unit today, I will hopefully conclude tomorrow.
Monday, Jan 24th
I feel insecure. I feel uncomfortable. I want to do bad things... I probably will.
What makes him different?
What makes him different?
Thursday, Jan 27th
A lot has happened in three days.
Tuesday, I told Thomas how I was feeling lately. He told me how he was feeling. Once again, misunderstandings kept us away.
I fear I have DPS.
Yesterday, Australia Day, Thomas and our friend, Joel, had a 'Triple J Hottest 100' BBQ/pool party. The boys got drunk, I stayed sober and observed and laughed.
Today, being Thursday (Rehab's outing day), we travelled to Bright. A new girl came and is staying the night in mine and Matt's unit. If she moves in though, it seems more logical that she'd move in with my previous housemate, Jocelyn, who has been away and isn't back until Monday/Tuesday.
It feels strange and makes me anxious knowing I've hardly seen her since our 'incident'. I hope this means things have cooled down instead of heated up.
One of the residents had a skitz in the car on the way to Bright. I really don't like him much.
Tonight, I'm with Thomas. He and I went to Lavington and Albury this evening for his iced-coffee. It's kind of become 'our thing'.
Saturday, Jan 29th
Yesterday, not a lot happened. We had our community breakfast which consisted of waffles and ice-cream.
Thomas came by and we went and grabbed an iced-coffee in Albury, and then made our way over to Lavington. I feel disgusting today. I couldn't even stand having Tom look at me.
Tom's friends came 'round tonight, it didn't end so well. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be. The girl I really am... who is that? Or the girl I feel I should be for everyone else... the one without these scars.
Tomorrow's a new day.
Tom's friends came 'round tonight, it didn't end so well. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to be. The girl I really am... who is that? Or the girl I feel I should be for everyone else... the one without these scars.
Tomorrow's a new day.
Sunday, Jan 30th
I just got home from Tom's. We did nothing today. The sweet kind of nothing. I just got out of my pyjamas and it's 4:30pm. Thomas installed 'The Sims' on his PC for me, and he lay on his bed playing his DS. We snuck kisses in in-between and only got up to venture to Maccas drive-thru in our pyjamas, and then to drop me off home. Sundays, Thomas has dinner with his family. We may be heading to Sydney this weekend.
Tonight's 'Community Meal' at rehab.
I just got home from Tom's. We did nothing today. The sweet kind of nothing. I just got out of my pyjamas and it's 4:30pm. Thomas installed 'The Sims' on his PC for me, and he lay on his bed playing his DS. We snuck kisses in in-between and only got up to venture to Maccas drive-thru in our pyjamas, and then to drop me off home. Sundays, Thomas has dinner with his family. We may be heading to Sydney this weekend.
Tonight's 'Community Meal' at rehab.
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